Date: Mon, 26 Apr 2004 15:19:56 +0100 (BST)
From: "Sue" Add to Address Book
Subject: Re: spring, Danes, losing something in translation and the trouble with Australian women
To: "Keith




Kiddo, all them wine gums are for you. I'll buy a few
bags. And they will all have your name on them.
As for ex's, I have concluded that it is best to leave
them behind. Tried the "friendship" route with Steve.
Torture on both sides, really, with very little
"upside" (ah, corporate-speak - sometimes you get an
American on the radio here who just doesn't want to
tell the reporter the truth and resorts to corporate
speak. That's when the BBC reporter usually lunges for
the guy's jugular and takes them down... today, we got
an example of non-corporate speak (or truth, as it is
sometimes known), from a lawyer defending one of the
Guantanamo Bay inmates. Funnily enough, the guy was a
military lawyer.)
As for Carmen, she appears to think you left on
better terms than you did. If you continue to avoid
her, she'll get the hint. I hope.
Forum-speak and all that - yes, I suppose it was
useful for Bob, but a bit frightening how he really
throws himself into such things. It's easier to just
deal with your nearest and dearest.
And the Danes - I think this is secretly why I am
avoiding going over there.
Ah well. I want to go home now. My magazine is
nearly done. But I have to print some color proofs
first... Love, Sue

--- Keith
wrote: > This is me freaking out about your
strangeness.
>
> Bob never did shake the Forumspeak nonsense, did he?
> While I would still hold to the notion that it's
> good to try and bridge the gap with Bob and be
> friendly, I'll also admit that it's creepy as hell.
> Maybe like clowns, I don't know. Forced is probably
> the best word for it.
>
> At its best, the Forum seems to provide the socially
> inept some toolkit for working with other people.
> You should apologize and make nice with people who
> are probably going to be in your life forever rather
> than stay bitter and angry. Hey, it worked for me.
>
>
> Of course, it gets dramatically worse from there.
> The Forum swims vaguely in the middle of personal
> accountability and brainwashing and way, way, way
> too much goal-orientation all in the middle of some
> space-cadet-ish, powerbroker cultishness that seems
> almost as if it would be the natural bi-product of
> socially inept people trying to take charge of
> something. Every so often, you have to read your
> audience for more than what you're trying to hear.
>
> The Forum also made me aware of the complexities
> with which people can act out the same old things
> they've been doing: if you are manipulative and
> overly aggressive, it's very possible to do this in
> a way that the recipient might feel ingratiated to
> you. Making for, IMHO, the success of the Landmark
> Forum. Rippling out of that are a thousand less
> obvious variations.
>
> I just overheard a co-worker saying "I was just
> calling to see if there was an opportunity for us to
> connect. I'm just reaching out here." Which might
> just be appropriate use of the language structurally
> speaking, but Corporate speak seems as bad to me as
> Ebonics. Creepy stuff. But Creepier still is that
> this is the language of the Landmark Forum and it
> has left me wondering which led to which. It might
> have been neither, but it makes me wonder.
>
> In other tales of social ineptitude, Carmen called
> me this weekend.
>
> She was in town via some absurd wrangling with her
> ticket to South Africa, of all places. Apparently,
> it was only another $300 to get here. Great. So
> she wanted to get together, calls me up Saturday
> night to see what I'm doing the next day - do I want
> to go for brunch.
>
> It quickly become obvious that she wanted me to meet
> up with her - and several of her friends at Park for
> brunch or something. My personal rule on ex's is
> don't call unless you need something or want to give
> something. Business first. While I've tried to
> handle this diplomatically, I just don't like Carmen
> as a person or the way that a lot of things went
> between us while we were travelling and I have a
> long memory for that kind of thing. Call it a
> grudge, whatever. I am not "doing brunch" with her
> set of cliquey corporate-type friends that I barely
> endured while we were going out. I hoped that my
> lame excuse of having to put up shelves the next
> morning would have done. I should have told her I
> was going to Church. Equally believable.
>
> She called again the next day, I made a half-hearted
> effort to see her. I called up a friend of hers
> that doesn't like me and then went into Manhattan
> and sat outside at a bar and did some writing over a
> beer for a few hours and then met up with Quin.
> Carmen's friend didn't give her the message until it
> was really too late in the day to do anything, which
> was kind of what I expected him to do. Nice when
> things work out.
>
> I've got no reason to see Carmen, she'd just
> irritate me, I think. If she wants to get together,
> I will, but I'm not making any great efforts to do
> so. Or even mediocre efforts. She simply doesn't
> seem to understand how she is percieved by me or to
> see how I wouldn't really want to see her or be a
> part of her posse here in NY. Christ, if I was in
> Sydney, I wouldn't be calling her.
>
> Yeesh. What do you do when you simply can't tell
> someone what they should know already or at least be
> able to figure out for themselves.
>
> Keith
>
> PS Our Danish relatives freaked me out. Very
> frightened people and not really a lot of fun to
> hang out with. The only time we had a nice time was
> over dinner in a place I like - it's a nice spot in
> midtown, but unfortunately named Druids. Great
> Garden, tho' and I like the owner. Debs knows where
> it is (10th Ave between 49th & 50th).
>
> I hope some of those wine gums are for me.
>
> I wouldn't mind a few BYFAPs myself.
>
>
>
>
> Sue wrote:
> "This is my step to get more about your life."
> Ooh, Forumspeak...
> Bob scares me sometimes.
> Yawn. Very tired. Spent last weekend in Bath. I went
> to a conference with elderly pharmacists and
> beautiful
> young female Asian pharmacists, Mike got to wander
> the
> streets and go to record shops and thrift stores in
> glorious sunshine. It was a weird mix.
> By the end of the weekend I and the BYFAPs were all
> grouped together chatting. They got some kind of
> group
> discount from their company or something. They made
> it
> fun. There were also a few older female pharmacists
> too. They were very nice. Occasionally I got
> flashbacks to the world of American Ink Maker with
> the
> older men. Minus the plaid pants.
> We also went to see Fred and Jeanette, Mike's uncle
> and aunt on the way back. I was able to dispense
> some
> advice like, take the drugs your doctors has
> prescribed you. They're very safe. He's worried
> about
> his liver, but I think the amount of booze he
> guzzles
> is probably doing more damage than a cholesterol-
> lowering pill will, and he's more likely to suffer a
> heart attack than liver damage. I felt safe saying
> that because we spent half the weekend looking at
> slides on the very drug he's been prescribed. Hot
> topic over here.
> Anyhoo, I will go home early tonight and purchase
> your
> pickle, tea and wine gums. And maybe some yummy
> cheese
> for me. Love, Sue
>
> --- wrote: > Date: Sun,
> 25 Apr 2004 05:20:15 -0700 (PDT)
> > From:
> > Subject: Spring at last!
> > To: Suzzanne
> > ,
> > Good Morning!
> > It's another fantastic day here for baseball,
> > gardening and being outside! The big gardening
> will
> > be
> > done next weekend with flower beds and perhaps a
> few
> > new bushes (we've gotten quite tired of the
> > contractor's shrubbery you see).
> >
> > The BBQ is set up, plenty of beer and wine
> available
> > and Summer's on its way!
> >
> > Sue, arriving this Friday? YEA! It will be great
> to
> > see you live and in person again! We don't write
> as
> > much since taking our new jobs. This is my step to
> > get
> > more about your life.
> >
> > The Danish gang just left in time to leave room
> for
> > the Lemon Scone Lady to arrive. M&D should have
> the
> > house aired out by then. Nothing a good dose of
> > Frebrez (sp?) and opening the windows can't cure.
> It
> > was absolutely wonderful to see Charlotte, Per,
> > Inger-Lise and Jeanette come to the USA and visit
> > with
> > us. (Dad's only complaint is how much they chain
> > smoke. Which Jackie and I knew they did from our
> > visit
> > last year.) Jackie made a great brunch and
> > incredible
> > dinner for their last night here. Yum, yum! She's
> > working a lot of hours and is well into 200+ hours
>
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