Sounds so official.

You might not be reminded of my contact info, you might not have known it yet. I move around a lot. I'm almost sure someone, somewhere, has diagnosed my kind of behavior and, with equal certainty, has crafted a tranquilizer for it. Hard to remember what goes where soemtimes - my whole life is a little transient. I think the only thing that's remained the same for more than 6 months is my phone number:

I now live at:

Brooklyn, NY 11215

I started a new job and things have been in chaos there for the moment until I figure out where things are. Why am I a secretary again? Oh yeah - monet. Money, and the great legacy I leave for posterity. My phone number in this lofty position is


...and it seems to require that I nurture a certain nervous-dog or -cat kind of behavior to do the job right. No sense trying to stay relaxed, it never seems to relax.

The new apartment is about half the cost of my old place and should enable me to get travelling again soon, or at least to get myself out of the previous hole I've put myself into long enough to dig a new one in a new spot.

I'm painting now as it needs some work (paint and some shelves, maybe) I'm happy to do as the rent is so reasonable.

I am writing and it's going well, but I feel like I need to take on a larger project. I also feel like I'm avoiding doing just that. I think I really have to do that if I am going
A: ever get recognized
B: ever be satisfied with myself as a writer

Your doctorate is a little inspiring. I haven't done anything of any depth or breadth, it seems to me. Maybe that's what I want to take on.

For work right now, I am someone's lackey (Admin/Exec Asst) at a big insurance house. I like who I'm working for and it does provide stability, which I need right now. Talk to me in a year, maybe less, and I'll be climbing the walls, I'm sure.

I guess what I really need, then, is money in the bank.

So that's me. I always love to hear from you and it would be great to catch up. This week is manic as I've some relatives and friends coming into town from Denmark, of all places and I'll be meeting up with some of them. One group are relatives that may drive me crazy and the other are a couple that I went to Antarctica with last year. It would be cool to see them.

I am still seeing Q, you know - the Grad student. It's like 6 or 7 months, so maybe we can add her to the list of things that haven't changed in 6 months.

Unwind for a while and then let me know what's going on. I've had a tumultuous year, you know that? I don't think I ever realized how much I like things to be settled. But the only thing that has been really driving me crazy is that it's been disturbing my writing. And that I just can't deal with. It makes me wonder if I'm not trying to live in the wrong place or something. Maybe what I really want to do is just travel the world until I get so weary that I just settle somewhere - doesn't sound that unappealing to me.

Keith



Denise wrote:
Thanks a bunch... I can't wait to have a REAL conversation with you when I don't feel stressed and crazed. Will call you next week. Remind me of your contact info.

Love,
D


Keith Christiansen < wrote:
Great news, champ - glad to hear it and I'm very glad this is over, for your own sake.

Would love to hear from you - please take time to decompress, Doctor Youngblood-Coleman. Good Lord, do you sound like trouble.

I'm so happy for you - all my love and all the best,

Keith

spring, Danes, losing something in translation and the trouble with Australian women

This is me freaking out about your strangeness.

Bob never did shake the Forumspeak nonsense, did he? While I would still hold to the notion that it's good to try and bridge the gap with Bob and be friendly, I'll also admit that it's creepy as hell. Maybe like clowns, I don't know. Forced is probably the best word for it.

At its best, the Forum seems to provide the socially inept some toolkit for working with other people. You should apologize and make nice with people who are probably going to be in your life forever rather than stay bitter and angry. Hey, it worked for me.

Of course, it gets dramatically worse from there. The Forum swims vaguely in the middle of personal accountability and brainwashing and way, way, way too much goal-orientation all in the middle of some space-cadet-ish, powerbroker cultishness that seems almost as if it would be the natural bi-product of socially inept people trying to take charge of something. Every so often, you have to read your audience for more than what you're trying to hear.

The Forum also made me aware of the complexities with which people can act out the same old things they've been doing: if you are manipulative and overly aggressive, it's very possible to do this in a way that the recipient might feel ingratiated to you. Making for, IMHO, the success of the Landmark Forum. Rippling out of that are a thousand less obvious variations.

I just overheard a co-worker saying "I was just calling to see if there was an opportunity for us to connect. I'm just reaching out here." Which might just be appropriate use of the language structurally speaking, but Corporate speak seems as bad to me as Ebonics. Creepy stuff. But Creepier still is that this is the language of the Landmark Forum and it has left me wondering which led to which. It might have been neither, but it makes me wonder.

In other tales of social ineptitude, Carmen called me this weekend.

She was in town via some absurd wrangling with her ticket to South Africa, of all places. Apparently, it was only another $300 to get here. Great. So she wanted to get together, calls me up Saturday night to see what I'm doing the next day - do I want to go for brunch.

It quickly become obvious that she wanted me to meet up with her - and several of her friends at Park for brunch or something. My personal rule on ex's is don't call unless you need something or want to give something. Business first. While I've tried to handle this diplomatically, I just don't like Carmen as a person or the way that a lot of things went between us while we were travelling and I have a long memory for that kind of thing. Call it a grudge, whatever. I am not "doing brunch" with her set of cliquey corporate-type friends that I barely endured while we were going out. I hoped that my lame excuse of having to put up shelves the next morning would have done. I should have told her I was going to Church. Equally believable.

She called again the next day, I made a half-hearted effort to see her. I called up a friend of hers that doesn't like me and then went into Manhattan and sat outside at a bar and did some writing over a beer for a few hours and then met up with Quin. Carmen's friend didn't give her the message until it was really too late in the day to do anything, which was kind of what I expected him to do. Nice when things work out.

I've got no reason to see Carmen, she'd just irritate me, I think. If she wants to get together, I will, but I'm not making any great efforts to do so. Or even mediocre efforts. She simply doesn't seem to understand how she is percieved by me or to see how I wouldn't really want to see her or be a part of her posse here in NY. Christ, if I was in Sydney, I wouldn't be calling her.

Yeesh. What do you do when you simply can't tell someone what they should know already or at least be able to figure out for themselves.

Keith

PS Our Danish relatives freaked me out. Very frightened people and not really a lot of fun to hang out with. The only time we had a nice time was over dinner in a place I like - it's a nice spot in midtown, but unfortunately named Druids. Great Garden, tho' and I like the owner. Debs knows where it is (10th Ave between 49th & 50th).

I hope some of those wine gums are for me.

I wouldn't mind a few BYFAPs myself.




Sue wrote:
"This is my step to get more about your life."
Ooh, Forumspeak...
Bob scares me sometimes.
Yawn. Very tired. Spent last weekend in Bath. I went
to a conference with elderly pharmacists and beautiful
young female Asian pharmacists, Mike got to wander the
streets and go to record shops and thrift stores in
glorious sunshine. It was a weird mix.
By the end of the weekend I and the BYFAPs were all
grouped together chatting. They got some kind of group
discount from their company or something. They made it
fun. There were also a few older female pharmacists
too. They were very nice. Occasionally I got
flashbacks to the world of American Ink Maker with the
older men. Minus the plaid pants.
We also went to see Fred and Jeanette, Mike's uncle
and aunt on the way back. I was able to dispense some
advice like, take the drugs your doctors has
prescribed you. They're very safe. He's worried about
his liver, but I think the amount of booze he guzzles
is probably doing more damage than a cholesterol-
lowering pill will, and he's more likely to suffer a
heart attack than liver damage. I felt safe saying
that because we spent half the weekend looking at
slides on the very drug he's been prescribed. Hot
topic over here.
Anyhoo, I will go home early tonight and purchase your
pickle, tea and wine gums. And maybe some yummy cheese
for me. Love, Sue

--- Bob wrote: > Date: Sun,
25 Apr 2004 05:20:15 -0700 (PDT)
> From: Bobc511
> Subject: Spring at last!
> To: Suzzanne Cheri Christiansen
> ,
> >
> Good Morning!
> It's another fantastic day here for baseball,
> gardening and being outside! The big gardening will
> be
> done next weekend with flower beds and perhaps a few
> new bushes (we've gotten quite tired of the
> contractor's shrubbery you see).
>
> The BBQ is set up, plenty of beer and wine available
> and Summer's on its way!
>
> Sue, arriving this Friday? YEA! It will be great to
> see you live and in person again! We don't write as
> much since taking our new jobs. This is my step to
> get
> more about your life.
>
> The Danish gang just left in time to leave room for
> the Lemon Scone Lady to arrive. M&D should have the
> house aired out by then. Nothing a good dose of
> Frebrez (sp?) and opening the windows can't cure. It
> was absolutely wonderful to see Charlotte, Per,
> Inger-Lise and Jeanette come to the USA and visit
> with
> us. (Dad's only complaint is how much they chain
> smoke. Which Jackie and I knew they did from our
> visit
> last year.) Jackie made a great brunch and
> incredible
> dinner for their last night here. Yum, yum! She's
> working a lot of hours and is well into 200+ hours
> at
> La Grange. Won't be long before her internship is
> done, then regular hours until graduation (sometime
> between June 15-25).
>
> Oops! 8:15, gotta get the bagels and papers!
> Bye!
> Love,
> Bob
>
> =====